Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart
why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes
Quite possibly the most offensive message I’ve ever received.
This is why no-one trusts men.
So today in class I got an adorable paper airplane from the girl who sits behind me after saying I didn’t give a fuck.
To my surprise there was a little note written inside for me.
Thank you friend, I now have a fuck to give.
The next time a guy complains about being friendzoned, send him this picture.
"I spent like 10 years of my life pretending to fly around on a broomstick and you’re asking me if preparing for a love scene was ‘tricky’ because the other person also had a penis?"
E X C U S E M E
YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.
"Hey remember that time you…"
Yes. I remember every embarrassing thing I have ever done and chances are it keeps me up at night
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.